What to wear to a bar mitzvah
Smart and modest for the service, a little dressier for the party: a knee-length dress with sleeves or a skirt for women, a suit for men. A kippah is usually provided for men, and customs vary between communities.
Three outfits that work
Sleeved knee-length dress, jacket
- teal knee-length dress with sleeves
- cream jacket
- black low heels
- small black bag
A dress with sleeves and a jacket suits the service, and you can take the jacket off at the party.
Navy suit, white shirt
- navy suit jacket
- navy suit trousers
- white shirt
- dark brown leather shoes
A navy suit works in any community, and the tie is optional in many; a kippah is offered at the door.
Long skirt, long-sleeved blouse, blazer
- burgundy long skirt
- cream long-sleeved blouse
- charcoal blazer
- black closed flats
A long skirt and long sleeves suit Orthodox and traditional communities, where women often wear skirts and cover arms and knees.
By weather
| Hot22° and up | Light fabric with sleeves, a jacket you can take off, and shade or water. |
|---|---|
| Mild10° to 21° | The outfit as planned with a light coat. |
| ColdBelow 10° | A warm coat, tights or warm socks and closed shoes with grip. |
Do and don’t
- Cover shoulders, upper arms and knees for the service
- Wear a kippah if offered
- Choose smart, calm colours for the service
- Ask whether to bring dressier shoes or clothes for the party
- Bring a card and a gift as the family prefers
- Wear short, tight or low-cut clothes in the service
- Use your phone or take photos on Shabbat in Orthodox communities
- Wear sportswear or old jeans
- Wear loud logos or slogans
Check the night before
- Ask the hosts about customs and the dress for the service and the party
- Check the time and place
- Try on the outfit and sit down
- Pack a card and a gift
- Plan a change of shoes or a wrap for the party
Questions people ask
Do I need a kippah?
Men are usually offered one at the door. Wear it as a sign of respect, even if you are not Jewish.
Can women wear trousers?
In many Reform and Conservative communities yes; in Orthodox ones, a skirt or dress is more usual. Ask the family.
What colours should I wear?
Smart, calm colours for the service. Black is fine; avoid white if you are not the family.
Can I take photos?
Not on Shabbat in Orthodox communities. Ask first.
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